Illness part2

I have a real reasons to apologize.. We get each other so good but there are those lack of comprehension times.. Not even now when a lot of weeks passed away from that 'thing' I cant find my peace and im continuously try to get myself back in the position i was cause.. I think i do that because i care.. Maybe its just me, saying stupid stuff, trying to get closer beloved people, but i don't, and i wont find an end to this.. I want it all to be just as before..